


Learning Curves and Comfort Zones

by annaswOrld



Series: The Ghost Quartet [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Anorexia, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Bisexual Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby is Not Trevor Wilson, Bobby | Trevor Wilson Defense Squad, Bobby | Trevor Wilson Dies, Bobby | Trevor Wilson Has Bad Parents, Bobby | Trevor Wilson-centric, Bulimia, Canonical Character Death, Depression, Eating Disorders, Everyone is Dead, Gay Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), Good Person Bobby | Trevor Wilson, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29773566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annaswOrld/pseuds/annaswOrld
Summary: After accepting their fates, the boys begin to try to co-exist with the Molina's only to realize that there was a lot more damage then they could have ever imagined within their inner circle./Bobby continues to struggle with his eating disorder until the boys finally realize enough is enough.MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING, CHECK NOTES!
Relationships: Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Bobby | Trevor Wilson/Reggie Peters
Series: The Ghost Quartet [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2177823
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Learning Curves and Comfort Zones

**Author's Note:**

> *MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING*  
> ~This entire story has constant references to eating disorders, anxiety, depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, PTSD, abusive parents, and negligent guardians! If any of this could or would be a trigger, please do not read!~  
> Hello readers!  
> Welcome to part two of the series! I recommend reading part one first for more context.  
> I'd just like to start of by making a disclaimer. I can't write or spell very well *at all*, I know these things, I am working on it. Grammar and writing is one of my worst abilities but I genuinely enjoy it, so here I am! Please excuse the possibly inaccurate tags or labels that may seem more extreme than necessary. I believe mental health is extremely important and I don't want to under do-it and put out a larger risk than I need to. I'm still learning the ropes of this website, so I do ask for your patience. More notes to come at the end, Happy reading!

ALEX’S POV

2020, HOLLYWOOD

Through many trials and errors, we decided that it was best to rehearse while Ray was at work and Julie and Carlos away at school. It had been an unexpected process but it was certainly better than getting, as Carlos said, “yeeted” out with salt. Julie had kept mostly to herself, avoiding the garage unless her dad, brother, or Tia were home so that they wouldn’t become suspicious of the strange noises coming from outside when seemingly no-one was in there. Or that’s what Julie told us anyway when Luke repeatedly kept pestering the poor girl about her lack of presence. It’s a peculiar feeling, seeing your first and only ex-boyfriend flirt with someone new, much less a girl. It wasn’t as bad as I originally thought it would be though, my younger sister had always complained and ripped on her first ex-boyfriend like he was a menace for even looking at another female after she had broken it off with him. Back when Luke and I had broken up, it hadn’t hurt as much as she once described it to. Maybe because with ours, it was mutual- deciding that we were better off as friends and band-mates.  
“Beep-beep, beep-beep, beep-” My heart picked up its pace as I turned off the alarm. It was 4 clock signaling that Ray would arrive home at any minute, meaning rehearsal was over for the day. I knew realistically he couldn’t see us but the thought of him being here didn’t calm me like it did Reggie, if anything it did the opposite. Thoughts racing through my mind, ‘What if he finds out about us? What if he somehow is now able to see us? What if he’s angry that we’re here once he finds out? Oh, God.’ Luke groaned aloud, breaking me out of his trance, and stomped his foot, “Common man! 4 already? I hate these stupid rules.” He pouted, setting his guitar down on the stand behind him. I gave him a small eye roll while Reggie practically pounced on Bobby who had just sat down on the couch. I put my drumsticks in their special spot on my set, walking around to go join others in watching whatever movie Luke had just put in. It was our new daily routine. Settling in between him and the chair arm, I looked closer at the screen. ‘Hocus Pocus?’ It made sense considering it was nearing Halloween but I doubt Luke knew that when he chose it. About 20 minutes into the movie, I heard a knock on the outside doors. Julie called in before shyly opening it, making herself visible to us.  
“Hi, Julie!” Luke said jumping out of his seat to wave at her. She gave him a low laugh, walking over to the couch. “Not to interrupt your guy’s movie time, but I just wanted to let you know that my dad and brother are home but we’re going to be going out later because Carlos has a game tonight,” She stated, awkwardly twiddling her thumbs together, staring at Bobby and Reggie. Reggie had fallen asleep half leaning on Bobby about 5 minutes into the movie. It was a sight to see them all cuddled up on their end of the elongated seat. Reggie’s mouth was slightly ajar against Bobby’s shoulder, Bobby’s other arm wrapped protectively around Reggie’s waist. Typically, when we watched movies, it was Bobby falling asleep on one of us if Reggie wasn’t there.  
Despite his appearance and his general attitude, he was an extremely kind and cuddly person. When I had first introduced him to our friend group, Luke was worried that he would make him uncomfortable with how affectionate he was and Reggie with how out there his brain was sometimes. I knew from the beginning that wasn’t going to be the case. What I didn’t know or expect, however, was Bobby being this openly vulnerable physically with us but I’m certainly not complaining. We had yet to know what was ever really going through his mind, him preferring not to share much outside of his absent parents and questionable stress levels in the past. The four of us had yet to sit down and discuss our feelings about death or what to do about our current predicament. And that was certainly an overdue conversation, but now was not the time.  
“Oh cool! I hope he does well, we’ll be cheering for him from here!” Luke said happily, trying to show support for her brother. Her face fell a bit, “Oh.” Luke’s face followed suit, falling into a deep and confused frown. Scratching the back of his head, he tried to find the words, “O-Oh, uh...Oh, she said, ‘Oh.’ Um, that’s what you say when you get socks on your birthday. Not when you get well wishes. Uh-um wh-what’s wrong Julie? Did we do something? Did I do something? Are you okay-” I coughed, placing a hand on his shoulder to cut him off. He looked at me worriedly then focused his attention back onto the girl in front of us. Bobby lifted his face in our direction, looking mildly concerned but not enough to remove his other hand from Reggie’s hair. “Nothing!” She jutted out quickly, “Nothing is wrong, I promise! I was just wondering if you guys wanted to come? I know you guys don’t leave the garage much…” She trailed off, looking at Luke and me with pity. Avoiding Bobby’s curious gaze she dropped her head, “Um nevermind you guys seem busy.” Just as she turned to leave, Luke called out, making me mentally sigh, because no, I don’t want to go to a silly middle school soccer game. With soccer games came soccer moms and I just do not have the patience for that. Not that I’d ever say that to her or her brother’s face, ghost or not, that’s mean. “We uh, we’ll go, we don’t have any plans. Right boys?” He slowly turned around, giving us the ‘just go along with it look’. I huffed to myself, causing Bobby to chuckle, “Right.” She jumped, smiling and clapping her hands together, “Okay then, it’s settled! We leave in 2 hours so be ready.” With that, Julie skipped back to her house and I gave Luke the death-glare of the afterlife. He looked at me sheepishly, “Uh sorry guys? Look I just didn’t want to keep seeing her so upset. It was obvious she wanted us to go and we haven’t spent much time with her anyway, we owe her one.” I contemplated my after-life choices for a moment before letting my head drop, “Okay Luke.” The infectious smile he gave me almost made me forget how much I hated soccer moms.

NO-ONES POV

None of the other boys were too pleased about having to attend a soccer game, Reggie included after he woke up. They all had preferred music, avoiding sports and crowded events other than concerts like the plague. Once 6:30 rolled around they all grudgingly drug their feet as they made their way to meet Julie in the driveway before Carlos and Ray could come outside and see her talking to herself. She explained to them the general time frame and layout for what they would be doing while they were there and that she could try to sneak away for a minute or two to talk to them without having to pretend to be on the phone. Seconds after she finished explaining the plan, the other boys walked out of the house, calling for her to come to get in the car with them. She whispered goodbye to the guys before running up to catch up with her and brother, jumping into the front seat. The quartet watched as they pulled away, all sighing in defeat except for Luke, who had a gleeful smile smacked on his face. “You better be happy about this dude,” Bobby said, crossing his arms once more, leaning slightly into Reggie, who happily wrapped an arm around his middle before leaning down kissing right under his ear. He gave him a soft smile, forgetting momentarily where they were. Luke just laughed, nudging Alex and the rest of them to follow as they all poofed down to Carlos’s school for the game.  
Once they arrived at the game, they stood by the gates that led down to the field so that Julie would be able to see them once she arrived. What they hadn’t planned for was for another girl to be attached to her hip. The girl appeared to be about Julie’s age, one of similar size and stature, giggling uncontrollably at something Julie had just whispered to her. Upon noticing the boy's presence, Julie smiled and waved, catching the new mystery girl's attention. “Oh Jules, who are you waving at? Nobody’s over there.” Julie's face dropped, realizing her mistake, “Oh no-one! No-one! I was just uh waving away these nats! Haha, you know how bad they are during this time of day.” Anyway’s, let’s go, Flynn.” She looped elbows with Flynn before dragging her way to the concessions stand. The girl shook her head in slight worry, “Yeah, whatever you say weirdo.” The four guys stood staring in confusion. Who’s Flynn and why are they just now finding out about her? “Did Julie say we were meeting her erm, friend, today? I thought we were forced to come so that someone we know could please her and for group bonding.” Alex edged Luke on, giving him a pointed look. Not that there were many other things they could have been doing, but each boy wanted to continue practicing and this would have been the only time to do so. Unsure of what exactly they were supposed to be doing, they focused on the image of Julie in their minds, poofing immediately to her new location. She seemed startled for only a movement before mouthing “Hi” to them, turning her attention back to the story Fynn was entranced in. “I stayed up all night just thinking about how to solve this, I may have drunk seven sodas and now I can’t stop twitching but that’s beside the point. Anyway, oh my gosh you have got to see this video I found the other day!” She continued to ramble, her voice falling on deaf ears as the boys tuned her out, trying to figure out how to safely communicate with Julie without the sugar-hyped girl noticing. Their plan of furtiveness failed quickly thanks to Reggie seeing a couple of birds together and squealing excitedly. Julie laughed in their direction, once again catching Flynn’s unwanted gaze, “Um, Jules?”  
“Yes?”  
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”  
“Nothing! I-I mean nothing is going on with me! Nothing to worry about here, nope.” Flynn then gave a low sigh, opening the contacts app on her phone for a minute before clicking on one that said, “Ray Molina”. With quick dexterity, she began to construct her paragraph of concern.  
“Uh, who uh, who is ya texting there Flynny?”  
“Your dad. He told me to text him if I was ever worried about you, I’m worried about you.”  
“No no-no-no. there’s no need for that,” She said, snatching the phone out of the other girl’s hands, “I promise I have a totally good and reasonable explanation for everything.” Flynn gave her a disappointed look, holding her hand out expecting her phone. When Julie didn’t hand it over, she crossed her arms and shifted her weight onto her back foot. “Okay then, let’s hear it.”  
Julie froze.  
“Common now, totally good and reasonable, right? Shouldn’t be an issue then. Spill.” Julie hesitated, folding her fingers together, looking down in shame, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy.” Flynn gave an inappropriate chest laugh, before looking her friend dead in the eyes. “You are crazy sis, it’s why I like you. Now seriously, spill it before I go find your dad myself. This is starting to really concern me. You’ve been acting like this since I first saw you today. Not to mention how you suddenly have so much less free time when I know you don’t have homework or chores to do.” With a heavy sigh, she began to explain the story to her. From the moment she decided to go clean out the garage up until this morning, leaving out only details such as the interpersonal relationships or deep bond that she suspected the boys had. She talked about when she played the CD, four boys appeared and how they were in an old band from the ’90s. She told her about how they always stayed in her garage only ever playing when Ray, her, or Carlos were gone and how close they seemed to be, communicating primarily through small profound facial expressions and head shakes. How she wanted to get to know each one of them better but found it difficult to even begin a conversation with them or be around them for more than a few minutes at a time. She went on, rambling to Flynn about them while Flynn looked like a sponge, absorbing and soaking up all the information she was being fed. At the end of her rant, Julie took a deep breath, “And those are the ghosts that live in my garage.” Another flash of apprehension overtook Flynns features as she grabbed back her phone and continued on her paragraph, adding in the new details she had just received. “Man Jules, when you create a world, you seriously live in it.” Julie rolled her eyes, again snatching the phone. “I can prove it, meet me at my house tomorrow at 6. Just please, whatever you do, don’t tell my dad. Not only could he not handle it, but I don’t feel like seeing Dr. Turner three times a week again.” She said firmly, crossing her arms to prove her point.  
“Fine, I’ll entertain this idea for a bit. You have until 6 pm tomorrow or right to your dad and Dr. Turner I go.”  
“Thank you! I promise you won’t have to, They’re real, I swear, You’ll see.”

BOBBY'S POV

I’m getting very sick of people making decisions for me. Where I’m going to go, who I’m going to meet, whether I ate or slept enough that day. It feels as though I’m slowly losing the last bit of control I had over my afterlife. I had thought that maybe once I died, that I would gain some control over myself since I never had it when I lived. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. At Least before I passed, I had the excuse of homework or a failing grade that required my attention to avoid the unbearable stares of my friends worrying over me. Now, it was as if I had nothing. I don’t have a family now, not blood-related anyway. My parents hadn’t wanted me and my grandparents both have long since passed. I had never met any aunts or uncles to know even my cousin’s names either, so it was just me. No family emergency excuse, no-one to go poof over to check on as Luke or Alex did, no-one to pretend to miss me. Looking back, I had never really had a family before the guys. Even after integrating into their dynamic, I still felt like an outsider looking in. Like it wasn’t my moments to steal, or inside jokes to laugh at. They had never outright told me I couldn’t, never once insinuating that they didn’t want me around, but it felt so wrong. It was like I had walked into the life of a family I wasn’t a part of. They had years together to bond and grow up before I had entered the picture. And once I had it wasn’t like I was invited over for much more than simply band practice. I desperately wanted to be worthy of their inner circle. I craved for the validation and love that they had for each other for the longest time. Despite being in a personal relationship with Reggie, I still felt so disconnected from them as a whole. It was their Earth and I was just the moon that orbited them. Once I had made this realization in 9th grade, life began to make more sense to me, but I was still unsure of how to necessarily solve my problem. 

1993, HOLLYWOOD

“Bobby?”  
“Bobs?”  
“Bobby!” The noise grew louder, snapping me out of my thoughts. I took my chewed-on pick out of my mouth, staring dazed at the line of three attractive boys before me, “Yes?”  
“We’ve been trying to get your attention for like, five minutes now. You good man?” Luke said, shifting his weight from his heels to his toes, rocking back and forth. I nodded silently, staring off again but this time standing up to grab my things to rehearse. Popping the cap off of my water bottle, I chugged a good portion of it, swallowing down the vile rising in my throat. I turned and gave them my signature finger guns before dragging myself over to my spot, the boys following behind me. Rehearsal proceeded as normal, Luke passionately jumping around, giving out suggestion-orders every time he got a new idea and the rest of us just accept that he was in a frenzy and there wasn’t anything we could do. While everyone else seemed to carry on as normal, my mind was still wrapped around my previous thoughts. I felt myself, quickly slipping, a lump forming in the base of my throat. Midsong I quit playing, shoving my guitar off my person and onto its stand. Racing against time, I hurriedly fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me, falling against it. I heaved, tears forming in my eyes and vomit projecting itself out of my mouth, just barely making the toilet bowl. I cried harder to myself, letting the tears fall silently. I sat there for a few minutes, hugging my middle. As I slowly came down from the wave of nausea and self-pity that had stolen me from the sidelines, I noticed something. A feeling. Did I feel… lighter? Despite my red eyes and swollen broken-out face, I felt prettier in quite a strange and twisted way. The emptiness in my stomach made me feel a satisfying sense of control that I hadn’t been able to connect to in a while. I smiled down to myself, rubbing my hands together gently. I flushed the mess away, staring in the mirror. Looking up and down at all 120pounds of fat I was. It tore away a bit at the remainder of my self-confidence but I relished in the feeling of what I had just accomplished. An easy solution to my difficult problem.  
I took another moment to lean down, rinsing out my mouth, ridding my hands of the remains from the incident. Sucking in a deep breath, I slowly unlocked and opened the door, looking down before quietly walking out. At the click of the doorknob latching back into its place, my three bandmates looked up at me, each face asking a different question without a word being spoken. “Um, sorry guys. Just didn’t feel too hot for a minute. I’m sorry, we can go back to rehearsing now, I’m fine.” But far from fine was I.  
Things escalated beyond measure from there. One, two, every meal possible was skipped. Those that weren’t were immediately handled afterwards the same way as before. At first, the results came slowly, seeing only slight changes in how a shirt or pair of sweats would fit around my large frame. My jeans seemed to only get bigger as time went on, Me always having to stop whatever odd activity I was doing to adjust them. Walking down the street one day, I had stopped again to pull up my pants when I saw them through the glass. A pair of red-belt-buckle suspenders modeled on the mannequin in the window. I nearly hesitated before turning into the store, later walking out with my new lifesaver and a fair amount of money missing from my pocket.  
I decided to try wearing them to rehearsal the following day, feeling abnormally nervous about the guy's reactions. What if I looked dorky? Or worse, what if I looked fatter than normal? Their image was everything to most bands and I couldn’t afford to be the reason that people doubted us or didn’t like our music. Every single move I made had always been a carefully calculated one, trying my best not to screw anyone else over more than I already had just by existing at the same time and in the same space as them. When I strolled in extra early to be what I thought would be the first person to arrive in my garage, I discovered I was the last one to appear. The other three were laying on each other on the pulled-out sofa watching a movie. Luke had himself sprawled out across the other two's lap, entranced by whatever content was running on the screen. Neglecting to notice me or my awkwardly placed suspenders, the boys didn’t lift their heads once to look at me. I stared for a minute or so longer, not wanting to intrude on their...band bonding time that I just so happened to not be invited to...again. Letting out a deep breath, I spoke up, “Oh hey guys, whatcha watching?”My voice cracked just a tiny bit, making me stumble ever so slightly on my words. Reggie, being the only one to acknowledge me, smiled and patted the small leftover space in front of him. I sat softly at the end of the bed doing my best not to block or disturb the boy’s views, unable to see the screen myself. I twiddled with my fingers, looking down at them as if something had changed about them, inspecting them to keep my eyes busy. Reggie leaned over, wrapping his muscular arms around my thick center giving me a slight tug, “Comere.” Suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious and anxious about how he might notice all the fat circled my stomach, I cringed. Hard. He gave me a hurt glance, arms loosening even more around me as he settled them at my thighs instead. I could have cried, he kept touching all of my worst features, one after the other. I tried to play it off like it had been a shiver from the AC instead of a recoil of his contact with me.  
“What’s wrong, love?”  
He had recently decided to start calling me pet names, making my heart melt into two every time I heard one. It was as if he knew my weaknesses and just wanted to use them against me. Too nervous to respond with words, I shook my head- forcing myself to scoot closer and closer to him until our bodies almost touched. He gave me a light smile, wrapping his arms lethargically around me, pulling my head to rest on his shoulders. I adjusted to where I could hide my face in the crook of his neck, wrapping my arms around him as well before the entire world started to fade away to the background.

1994, HOLLYWOOD

After the first night of my purge, I was addicted. The satisfying feeling of seeing numbers and sizes drop with each bad habit I grew. It occurred to me though that no matter how satisfying it was to watch the change happen in real-time, I was still not good enough for the one thing I craved more than anything. Being the center of Reggie’s love and affection. I knew realistically that I never would be, making peace with that fairly quickly but I still wanted more. Needed more. I had already done so much but he still didn’t seem to notice me. Not in the ways I wanted him to. I began to notice him staring at me more than normal. It wasn’t in an endearing way though, no. It was in a way that screamed disgust and a glowing ball of fed up-ness that I had only ever seen once before. The image was unclear in my head, the repressed memories buried too deeply to be suddenly pulled out and put to use. The pang in my chest every time I would catch him staring, watching as he quickly looked anywhere but my eyes, feigning innocence.  
It was nearing April, which meant that Luke had already started devising his masterplan for the band Summer together. Unable to read his scribbled-out attempt at a list, I slapped it back into his hand, “Unreadable, bro. Just explain it verbally.” He rolled his eyes at me in his normal playful manner. “Okay guys, I have the best plan ever. It’s going to help add to our image and sound. Multiple steps though, okay? Okay, cool.” Once Patterson had his mind made up, there was no changing it and this was no different. Whatever wretched plan he had created was most likely going to be the routine that we followed until school was able to break us out of it our senior year. Maybe. Who knows at this point. I grabbed one of the stools, easing onto it as Alex and Reggie plopped down next to each other on the ground. Folding up his knees a bit and crossing his arms, Alex gave him a scoff, “Do tell then, Oh great-and-fearless leader.” He said, every ounce of sarcasm dripping from his words. Reggie and I chuckled before Luke waved his hands, the wave of silence washing over us. “It’s gonna require a new level of dedication from everyone. One we’ve never reached before. We’re going to start working out together! It’ll be like one of our band bonding things but this time it can help with our energy levels and our image. It’s a no-brainer that a lot of people like to listen to nice-looking people.” Well, it now made sense why no fans ever really stood around to try and catch my attention as they did theirs. I was still too ugly. Ugly enough that even Luke was sick of it. I needed to change my plans, clearly more was sticking around from those purges than I realized. “I don’t- none of us- what do you have in mind Lucas?” Alex said with an unamused grin that was very obviously fake.  
“Nothing crazy, Maybe just some more running and going to the gym once a week or so to start building up our muscles, blend a little nicer at school too. We’re all kind of stick-like still. Which by the way, is good. Don’t need to be all body-builder but just enough to give us that boost. Plus all the girls in my 3rd period say that going has helped with like, their self-confidence and stuff.” Straying from what the original purpose was, revealing his true plan made Luke nervous. Anytime he related anything to a not positive emotion, he would clam up, twiddle his fingers and avoid eye contact until the subject was changed. I felt embarrassed, a slight reddish-pink hue finding its way to my cheeks. I felt like a small kindergartener having to move his card from green to yellow or red in front of his classmates. “Assuming, we agree to this, what’s the deal? Is it that we all work together or on our own? How do you plan on keeping track of all of us?” Reggie politely asked with general curiosity. Luke beamed at the genuineness and support that radiated from even just those simple questions. Reggie had that effect on people, you couldn’t not love anything he said or did. Every room, every person lit up when he walked in, a real-life angel. It’s one of the many reasons I fell so hard for him the way I did.  
As Summer rolled around, Luke’s plan took action. Lifting weights and doing odd cardio sucked because it felt as though everyone could see every movement of the shirt I was wearing, revealing the secret despairing tragedy that was hidden underneath it. Waking up even earlier on Saturday mornings hadn’t been ideal but it gave me a reason to continue losing weight in a discrete way that wasn’t as exposing. Hell, Luke wanted me to lose the weight either way. He didn’t outright say it but I knew what that meeting was truly about, they didn’t have to say it aloud for me to figure it out. I wasn’t meant to understand though, so I decided to just keep my mouth shut, pretending like it never happened. After we had discussed the logistics of our new workout plans, we decided that running Saturday mornings and hitting the gym two times a week, once alone and once together should suffice nicely as long as everyone kept with their integrity. A few weeks in, I could already tell I was doing better. Running faster, cutting fat, and gaining what felt like some endurance and stamina to be used later in long sets. I ran until I exhausted myself, two miles quickly turned to four until I found myself running well into the afternoon right up until band practice most weeks. I hadn’t even managed to be late once, always constructing my time responsibly, knowing my general limits.  
One of the last Saturdays of our Summer though, I had been out running in a long sleeve and sweatpants when it began its unplanned downpour. I had watched the news earlier and the weather forecast had said about a 10%chance of rain. Some accurate forecast that was. The rain mixed with the 96degree temperature made running feel like a personal hell I wasn’t prepared for. Sharp, jagged pains hit my stomach and breathing became uneasy, sucking in one painful breath after the other. I started to get extremely light-headed about a mile and a half into my four-mile run when I stopped, placing my hands on my knees trying to steady myself. The once prominent noises seemed to fade into the background and the world around me spun. I squeezed my eyes shut with force, doing my best to will away the pain. After a minute, everything seemed to come back into focus so I started to stand back up. I took a few staggering glides before I had to stop again, this time, blacking out on the side of the road.  
When I awoke from my forced slumber, it was dark out. My hair matted to the sides of my face and my eyesight a bit blurry, the leftover effects feeling like I had a hangover. I felt so slumped that I could barely force myself onto my feet. Once I rolled up, I took a look around me. No-one had kidnapped me thankfully, who would want a disgusting-looking teenager? But then it dawned on me, band practice. I missed band practice. I started to run back in the direction from which I came, stumbling every few seconds doing my best to not trip over my own feet. Making it home took much longer than I anticipated, taking what felt like hours rather than the 20 minutes it had taken to arrive at this point. Panting, I run up my driveway and into the garage, busting in. Sweat dripping down my face, shallow breaths struggling to make it in and out of my mouth. My eyesight started to falter again leading me to grab onto the doorframe to stable myself. I closed my eyes for a few minutes before feeling a soft pair of gentle hands briefly touching mine. With what little energy I had left, I jumped back quickly popping my eyes open, gasping in relief when my eyes met Reggie’s. “Reg?” I slurred, unable to complete even a coherent thought or word. “Hey baby,” He smiled softly, “Can I hold you?” I fell into his arms, leaning all my weight into his chest, whining out softly. He reached a hand up to my hair, streaking his fingers in between strands, stopping to rub gently ever so often. His other arm wrapped tightly around my waist, squeezing as he whispered lovely nothings into my ears- calming my nerves. My eyes again started to close, exhaustion kicking in. He led me over to the couch where the other boys laid asleep. “W-what- time?” I mumbled against his neck. He laughed, gently easing me onto the bed behind us. “It’s 1:03 AM, love. You’ve been out all day, we were worried sick about you. Do you want to talk about it or just go to sleep now and handle it tomorrow morning?” I nodded sleepily. “Okay honey, Let’s get you into some pajamas, yeah?” I nodded along, watching him go over to his overnight bag, pulling an extra pair of clean bottoms out of it. I tried to stand on my own so that I could go change in the bathroom where he wouldn’t be subjected to seeing all of the fat I had accumulated but I quickly realized that I couldn’t escape. My own body held me, prisoner, not allowing for me to move without another wave of dizziness hit me directly in the face. I squinted my eyes shut, the world spinning far beyond my control before me. I felt Reggie’s hands reach out to stabilize me, giving his arm a death grip trying to make myself sturdy. He then took the clothes out of my other hand, setting them back down beside me. “Here, let me help you.”  
Fear struck me to the core. I violently shook my head no in protest, not wanting him to see what I looked like under my disguise. He was going to be scarred for life after seeing my atrocious body. “Why not Bobbers, did something happen? Should I go get the first-aid kit? You need to let me treat any boo-boos you got while you were out, they could get infected. Common, let me see, please?” He begged. I whined, unable to deny him or say no to his puppy dog eyes. I cried quietly to myself, feeling his hands reach up to cradle my cheeks, wiping affably at my falling tears. “O-Okay,” I stuttered giving in, protectively wrapping my arms around my abdomen. 

NO-ONES POV

Reggie unclipped the suspenders at Bobby’s waistline, frowning slightly at the massive drop in his friend’s pants. He held onto him, steadying him when he leaned too far forward or backward, swaying on his feet. He gave one of the pant legs a small tug, watching as all of the material crumpled to the floor. Pulling Bobby close to his chest, he rubbed his back lightly, feeling the hard outline of a spine under his hands. His eyebrows furrowed, his mouth finding its way to a firm straight line before falling into a genuine frown. He sat him back down onto the mattress, moving as soundlessly as possible, not to wake the other boys that laid a foot away from them. He removed the bundled sweats off of Bobby’s feet, crouching down to start slipping the new ones onto his concerningly skinny legs. Once he had them pulled up to his knees, he hauled him onto his feet lightly, scared of hurting him, pulling them up the rest of the way. Trying to avoid too much contact around the lower regions of his front, he pulled the pants up around Bobby's waist, trying to tie them tightly so that they might fit him. Getting it as close as he could without hurting him or damaging the strings, he pulled him onto their side of the bed with him, entangling their legs. He encased the smaller man into his arms while humming a delicate, but familiar tune- one he was sure to help lure him into sleep. The lyrics to Your Song by Elton John skimmed through his mind as he hummed the song, easing Bobby into a deep slumber.  
None of the boys woke up as early as they originally planned the next day, too tired from staying up wondering if their friend was going to return home that night or if he went off with somebody and blew off rehearsal. Alex and Luke highly doubted the latter, noticing the longing stares passed between the other two when they thought the other wasn’t looking. It was cute, seeing both of them so smitten over their crush, but the pining was infuriating sometimes. Reggie had slowly been trying to get Bobby to notice that he had feelings for him, throwing in pet names and casual kisses on his shoulders or hands. Bobby being the repressed and emotionally stunted doof he was, was too blind to notice. Instead, he sat there on the floor waiting for Reggie to verbally tell him to come to cuddle when the rest of the band was, or to come to join him or even the band in other small group activities. It was obvious to Luke and Alex that Bobby was at the very least, in love with their bassist, but that he was too scared to make a move, assuming that Reggie wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings. The pair were cuddling chest to chest, Bobby still knocked out while Reggie traced small shapes into his bony shoulder blades when the other two woke up. Reggie appeared as if he got minimal sleep and Bobby looked wrecked under him. The two well-rested boys yawned, Luke crawling out of bed to go grab some water and Alex stayed, tapping the younger boy on the shoulder to get his attention.  
Reggie glanced at him from over his shoulder, nodding his head silently, telling Alex to move where he could see him easier without moving to disturb Bobby. Alex let out a silent groan, getting off the bed and walking to sit on the ground on the other side of the pullout just as Luke arrived and joined him. Luke pointed at the now present but asleep band member, mouthing the word ‘Explain’ to Reggie in the nicest way his frustrated mind could muster. Reggie, unsure of what he could say right now, mouthed back the word ‘Later’ before giving them a light shrug- settling back into his previous spot. About thirty minutes passed of the three of them staring at him and each other before the boy in question eventually stirred, drowsily stretching out his arms and leg like a cat around Reggie and giving a cute but small yawn. After his stretch, he immediately wrapped his arms back around the taller teen snuggling further into his chest smiling. Reggie gave a light laugh, kissing the top of the boy’s head, “Good morning beautiful, How’d you sleep?” Bobby nuzzled his head against Reggie’s solid chest, searching for a tighter and more enveloped hug, mumbling back a sluggish, “Hello” that came out more like “Hew-o” when buried so far into his shirt. Reggie squeezed him harder, letting out a content sigh closing his eyes, leaning his head to rest on his. Getting restless, Luke stood up, running around to the other side of the room, causing Alex to look over hurriedly in worry. They never ended up talking about what happened last night, why Bobby was so late, or what worried Reggie into refusing to let go of the boy for almost a day after his return. They all kept a closer eye on him, courtesy of Reggie who demanded it. Until the school year started again that was, and then that night was temporarily forgotten.

2020, HOLLYWOOD

The boys had set up and rehearsed for their mini house concert for Julie’s unmentioned friend, Flynn. They all loved to perform but this felt fabricated and fraudulent of them to try to pull off. Julie hardly knew them, yet here she was about to introduce another living being to them, to the apocryphal version of them. The versions of them that Julie knew of were heterosexual, neurotypical, not traumatized, musicians that died before they had the chance at making their dreams come true. She didn’t know about their estranged relationships with their parents, the dates they had together, the panic attacks, or the restless nights where the only thing they could do for each other was there if they wanted to be held or even just a comforting presence. It was hard enough lying to her all the time, but now another person to consistently lie to? They weren’t exactly sure how Julie could see them, knowing only that her family couldn’t see them but that they could hear them if they played their instruments together as a band. Their best idea to help Julie out, even more, was to play for Flynn and hope she understood that they were playing live and not a pre-recorded vinyl. A mixture of anxiety and nonchalant filled the air, frustrating the ones who didn’t feel the same way as him. They all sat around talking until 6 pm rolled around and Julie walked in, fingers interlocked with Flynn. “As you can see, there are no cords or projectors that could hook any sound system up. Feel free to gander around,” she started, gesturing to the space around her, “Oh! But you might want to move a little, you’re in their space. They don’t like that very much.” She said, pulling Flynn out of the seemingly empty area, plopping her down into a chair to, what she assumed, listened to the show. The boys shuffled around, putting the final touches on their set, removing any trace of a girl from it. They asked Julie one last time if they had to do this to which she audibly responded, “Of course you do! She’s my best friend, she needs to be able to know about and see you guys like I do. At the very least be able to hear you.”  
“They’re here already!?” Flynn exclaimed with nervousness, fixing her hair and flipping it over her shoulder. Julie had talked to her about what the boys looked like and each of their odd little personalities she picked up on, Flynn not taking it seriously until now. The way she had described them made Flynn flustered and very much hoping that they would become visible to her for viewing pleasures. “Hi everyone, I’m Flynn!” she waved around the room, even to where no one was standing. Reggie smiled enthusiastically, waving back at her. He was certainly the least apprehensive about the situation out of the four of them.

FLYNN’S POV

I sat down in my seat, embarrassed for how not put together I looked and my previous reaction. Expecting a slow build-up, to a possibly slow and welcoming song, saying I was surprised at what I received instead would have been the understatement of the year. At first, it was the light tapping of a man-made metronome. The faint noise quickly turned into fast clicking drumsticks, crashing against each other a voice shouting out “A 1, 2, 3, 4!” Before out of nowhere, four teenage boys appeared in front of me, making me jump out of my seat with a shout. The sound of rock music filled the room as three of the boys jumped up and down, making me feel like I was in the front row of a real venue concert. Even the drummer looked happy, smiling into his mic as he sang his parts, going crazy in the background on his kit. Their energy was infectious, leaving me to feel more alive than I had in weeks as they sang their hearts out. The one that appeared to be the lead singer bounced around, giving me massive puppy vibes, continuously looking at Julie and me. The other two front men kept stealing glances and staring into the other’s eyes with an intense sense of love and lust as they sang. I silently pondered on the likeliness of a relationship being there, or if it was just band chemistry connecting them when they played. I chose to ignore it, for now, letting my head bop up and down with the beat, vibing with my best friend over her new ghost friend’s band. Eventually, the song came to a close and they all continued to look over at the two of us.  
“That was amazing you guys!” I congratulated them, cheering for their uplifting music.  
“Wait-wait, you can see us still? Guys, she can still see us! Someone else can see us!” The short shaggy hair one jumped, the energy never depleting, “I’m Luke! Lead singer, Nice to meet you!” He nudged the tall blonde one who had just appeared from behind the drums.  
“Alex, drums, hi.”  
“Hi, Flynn! I’m Reggie! Bassist. How’s it going?”  
“I uh, I’m Bobby” he blinked hard and slow, “R-rhythm guitarist.”  
The one who introduced himself as Reggie, reached down a tad- discreetly grabbing the shaking boy's hand, squeezing it with a loving smile. Receiving a sharp warning look from Luke, he slowly let go of his hand, giving him a look of apology. I blinked in confusion, tilting my head. Julie leaned over to me, completely oblivious to the situation before me, “Told ya they were real.” She laughed, throwing an arm around my neck and shoulders, “Still want to text my dad?” I gave her a playful eye-roll, throwing my free arm around her neck and shoulders. Knocking our heads together, I joked, “Hmm maybe. Maybe not. Haven’t decided yet.” Focusing my attention back on them, I untangled my limbs from Julies, clasping my hands together, putting all eyes on me, “So tell me about yourselves! I get that you guys are musician ghosts but other than that, I’m clueless.” I then watched four shoulders raise in unison, Julie’s mouth falling open and quickly shutting after. “We’ll be right back guys, don’t disappear on us haha.” She laughed, dragging me behind her outside. “Flynn!”  
“What?” I whisper-yelled back.  
“You can’t just ask them that!”  
“Why not?!”  
“Because-because they still haven’t told me anything. They’re very private ghosts.”  
“Wait, so you know nothing about them?”  
“Exactly!” She then dragged me right back inside to where the guys stood, a bit more huddled up now. Luke and Reggie being the only ones who looked truly pleased to see us. “Hey guys, we’re back. What’s up…” Julie trailed off awkwardly. The guys looked at each other desperately, communicating with a few rapid-fire looks. Alex nudged Luke forward with his eyes. Luke nervously advanced to us, “We-we uh we want to answer whatever questions you guys have. Um, I’m sorry we haven’t been erm- open to anything, it’s just a little weird for us, ya know, skipping 25 years in time from dying and all.” He gave her a quiet laugh that didn’t reach his eyes, lips ensuing into a semi-frown when she didn’t laugh back, “Ask away. We can’t promise to answer everything but we’ll try.”

NO-ONES POV

Taken back at the prompt, Flynn and Julie looked at each other for a second before focusing their attention on the quartet in front of them. “How old are you guys?”  
“17”  
“17”  
“17”  
“17.”  
Julie took notice of the demeanor change in the group. They no longer seemed like the playful, cuddly, and giggly boys that she was originally getting to know. The defensive cold exterior wall now up between them after Flynn’s question. It wasn’t tall but it grew with each passing second. Considering this carefully, she thought her question over again in her mind. She traced her eyes over them slowly, noticing the intensity in their rigid structures, stress, and anxiety practically seething out of their forms. “Do you guys want to sit down and relax a bit?” She suggested, trying her best not to sound condescending or offensive. They shared a look before silently moving past the two girls, plopping down in their routine order on the couch- staring up at the two expectantly. Flynn bounced on over to them, ignoring the tension in the room, grabbing a stool, and sitting in front of them, nodding her head for Julie to follow her. Both girls knew fully well how fragile these next few moments were, understanding that any little thing could set off a blazing fire that they wouldn’t be able to put out or control. They sat in silence, observing each other, waiting to see who would be the first to break. The boys noticed the girl’s curiosity and confusion as they tried to put snapped pieces that were their current knowledge together. They felt bad, wanting nothing more than to be open with them but ultimately knew that they couldn’t. That it was too much of a risk. The girls watched as the guys tried to subtly console each other, rather it was an arm around the shoulder, or sitting pressed up as tightly as they could into their sides.  
Julie had walked in many times on them cuddling or goofing around, no stress or worry insight. Until they saw her, then any comforting or loving behavior ceased and they would generally separate. It had been improving, the guys slowly becoming more of themselves around their new companion. Hands being held weren’t as often hidden, forehead kisses weren’t covered, and cuddling was just a thing now. She saw the love they had for each other, but she didn’t understand it. She didn’t try, it wasn’t her love to worry about it. No matter the nature of their relationships with each other, she didn’t care. It didn’t affect her and as long as they were happy, then she was happy. Starting with a seemingly painless question, she decided would be the easiest transition for everyone. “So how did you guys meet?”  
An immediate scoff came from Bobby. With a light flick to his neck, Reggie answered excitedly. “Well the three of us,” he gestured to himself, Luke, and Alex, “all met way back in like, kindergarten? Sometime around then. We got put at a table together because Luke kept getting on other kids' nerves, Alex wouldn’t talk to anyone, and I just needed somewhere to sit.” Turning his attention to the boy had slowly been snuggling up more into his side as the conversation went on, he continued, “And then in 6th grade, Alex formally introduced us to this lovely gem after class one day and damn was it-” He cut himself off. Turning red, he looked down. “Sorry, anyway we all hung out after school and thus Sunset Curve was born.” Flynn went to go ask what he had been going to say but stopped. She gave him a sad, understanding smile, nodding her head along with him,  
“That’s pretty cool! Jules and I knew each other but we didn’t get super close until the past year or so.”  
With a nod of approval, Alex slowly stood up, “I’ll be right back.” Without a second glance, he sped off quickly up the stairs of the loft. They heard boxes being rummaged through until they heard a light gasp. Alex then ran back downstairs now holding a small book in his hands. He plopped back down on the couch, opening the book, revealing its contents. A photo album. Of the four of them before they died. Each polaroid looked dusty but overall fine as if they hadn’t just been stored away in a garage for what was nearing three decades. He signaled the two girls to join them on his other side to participate in their walk down memory lane. The first page was filled with goofy images of the original three in a boy’s room, playing with slightly oversized instruments together. This page was dated back in 1989. “We were in 5th grade at the time, still learning how to hold and play our instruments. We had to hang out at Luke’s house because my parents thought rock music was satanic and Reggie’s parents weren’t ever uh, super thrilled, to have us over” he explained, ghosting his fingers over the images on his lap. He gave the boy on his right a gentle bump on the shoulder, giving all the boys a comforting look. He turned the page, the next one “Summer of 1990,” He said, more images of the boys practicing, this time, being littered also with pool pictures and general summer activities.  
The two guests stared at the younger versions of the boys in the album. They had grown up, jawlines sharpening, hair grew out, but clothing style hardly changing except for Luke’s lack of sleeves. With a mellow laugh, he turned the page. “1990 school year.”  
Reggie gave Bobby a tender squeeze, whispering softly, barely audible to anyone else’s ear, “This is where you come in, baby.” Bobby smiled softly at him before looking down and cringing at the polaroids. “Why were you guys friends with me? I look even more like a mess there than I do now. Not cool, whoever let me out of the house like that?” Without knowing, Flynn scuffed, “Hey, your style wasn’t that bad, none of y’alls were. I guess your mom just dressed you how everyone else at that time dressed their kids. No biggie.” He flinched.

BOBBY'S POV

I know she doesn’t know, and I don’t want her to. But the mention of a woman who I had never met, sent me on a spiral, slowly dissociating from the world around me once again. When I was much younger and couldn’t dress, my grandmother would try to do it for me. But she ultimately ended up dressing me like I was more from my parents' generation because she never went out and saw what kids my age looked like or were dressed like. I had always gotten bullied for my “out of date” clothing, kids teasing how I belonged in the 60s or even 50s sometimes. I never had the heart to tell my poor grandma about it, already feeling bad enough for her struggling with me to get me where I needed to be appropriate. I remember the first time I sat down and asked her where my real parents were, and the look of dread and despair that appeared on her face. I never hung out with other children my age in elementary school, their yelling and constant teasing always being too overwhelming for me. Spending time with them, who had too much energy, always seemed exhausting, like they were leeching off my supply somehow. I always thought living with your grandparents was normal, having no-one else’s experiences to compare mine to. When teachers said “Parent-teacher conference,” I simply assumed parents were short for grandparents. One day when I was talking to a teacher of mine about my upcoming conference, the comment was made that I needed to have my real parents attend to talk about some social concerns. When I went home and mentioned it to my grandparents, they pulled me into their laps and told me everything that happened, hardly sugarcoating the truth. My grandmother ended up writing a letter for my teacher to read, telling me to be sure to give it to her first thing tomorrow morning. So I did, and the incident was never mentioned again. I understood better where I fit into the world at the time, suddenly feeling much more grown-up than I had the previous day.  
Toning back into the present, I immediately felt eyes on me. I crouched lower into the couch and Reggies side, trying to make myself invisible. I felt a pair of strong arms readjust to my waist before heaving me up and into my boyfriend's lap. He laid my head down to rest on his shoulder, cradling me in his arms, rocking at a slow pace back and forth. I finally blinked again, remembering what had been happening before I fell into my head. I twisted my head after a minute or so, seeing my best-friends rubbing circles on my legs. I leaned a bit outward and noticed the girls still standing there, confused yet compassionately looking right back at me. I cowered under their eyes, curling more into Reggie, feeling much more self-conscious now than I had about the photos in the album.  
“Wanna talk about it, love?” Reggie said quietly. I shook my head like a five-year-old, burying my face back into the crook of his neck, “Tell them to forget about it.” I mumbled, knowing he would understand. I tuned out their conversation for what I thought was only a moment, letting his fingers work their magic in my hair until he tapped my shoulder, telling me it was time for bed. I took a glance at the album, the currently opened page said 1994, the summer before everything happened. The girls said their goodnights, running out to Julie’s house for their sleepover.  
“You alright, Bobbert?”  
I groaned at Luke’s question, twisting my head slightly to look at it. Truth was, I was utterly exhausted- mentally and physically. I was also freezing, something I didn’t know could happen as a ghost. I had a slowly developing migraine and everything was beginning to seem big and overwhelming. I gripped onto Reggie’s flannel with an iron fist, doing my best not to let go as I felt myself being hoisted into the air. He stood up, adjusting me so that I was now being held bridal style in his arms. I shivered against his chest, snuggling closer looking for warmth. He let out a serene laugh, “Long day, baby?” I nodded again, allowing my head to fall against him, unable to hold it up any longer. I was easily exhausted now, every movement adding more water into my cup, until it eventually overflowed, leaving me passed out on my friends and boyfriend. After around five minutes of consistent shuffling, I was put down, sitting with my legs dangling off the side of the mattress. Reggie’s hands left me for only a second before I felt them return with a heavy, but soft blanket that I then was cocooned into. I was lifted back up only to be shifted towards the top of the bed, enveloped into his arms again as he settled in around me. The bed dipped on the other side of me, “Band cuddles?” It was Luke. With a faint hmm, I felt arms wrap around on my other side and Alex’s ringed fingers slip into my hair.  
Just as I started to doze off, feeling warm and sedated from the love feeding into what I had come to understand as my touch starvation, an intense burning sensation began to attack the left side of my abdomen. I cried out, releasing myself from their comforting hold to grip tightly onto my stomach. I had been growing accustomed to the newfound aches but this one was undeniably one of the worst ones I had to come to feel in years. Blurry figures moved around in my line of sight, the bed sinking and then rising afterward. The sound of rapid footsteps becoming quieter and quieter. Suddenly there was a hand on mine, moving it to then slip under my shirt, fingers dancing across my lower ribs and belly button. Stopping on the hypogastric region, the hands stopped, rubbing circles trying to calm down my now increasing flood of tears. All self-conscious thoughts flew out the window, my brain solely focusing on trying to find ways to relieve the pain. Luke, who ran out to get me water, appeared next to me, glass in hand. Alex whispered reassurances into my ear from behind, while Reggie continuously rubbed my stomach and kissed my cheeks, hands, and forehead repetitively. Once the crying began to cease, Luke prompted the full glass back into my view. I tried to hold onto it myself but the shaking made it spill slightly onto my lap. Another round of tears made their way to my tear ducts, daring to exit. Luke wrapped his shockingly steady ones around my vibrating ones, helping me lift them where I could drink some of the water. I took two sips before pushing it away. “You need to drink more than that, love. Common a few more sips, okay?” Reggie said, kissing me lightly on the lips. I relished how soft they felt against mine before he pulled away and Luke brought the cup back to my mouth. Disappointed in the change, I attempted to sip some more of it. I knew I wouldn’t gain any calories from it but I would become bloated. That sent a pang of anxiety through my spine, causing me to choke on what little water had entered my mouth. He quickly pulled away from the cup, large hands rubbing small circles into my back and thighs as I composed myself.  
“Are you good, man?” Luke asked, his voice laced with concern, setting the water down on the floor beside us. I couldn’t bring myself to reply. Lying hurt but so did the truth. I instead let him take my rigid hand into his calloused firm ones. “Damn Bobs, your hands are so...dry. ‘Lex, can you grab some lotion or something?” He ran his fingers up my arms and shoulders, “Yeah bro, definitely grab some. You feel so… dried out.” He looked at me hesitantly. I don’t know why though, I’ve been drinking what I thought was plenty of water and I try to moisturize after showers. Reggie had just bought me a new bottle right before we died that I tried to use regularly, mostly because he also used it so it reminded me of him. Alex returned without me ever noticing his absence, squirting the God-sent smell into Lukes, Reggies, and his palm. Each one grabbed a different body part, making me tense up, all self-conscious thoughts returning. “It’s okay baby, you’re safe. It’s just us, but if you don’t want us to, we won’t. Just say the word. Red, yellow, or green?” I considered it, they wouldn’t give up trying to take care of me like this until I caved so I nodded, giving in.  
“Words, baby. Use your words please.”  
“Green,” I replied in a small voice, cowering lower into my backrest.  
“That sounded very yellow. Are you sure?”  
“Yes.”  
They each readjusted their grips on their selective sections of my body. Luke rubbed up and down on my right arm, Alex my left, and Reggie, who took both of my legs, starting at my feet. Their ataractic hands worked magical wonders on my body. I started to seep into a relaxed and safe headspace, letting myself be taken care of by my best friends. All worries and stress escaped me, making me forget about life/death and my current situation. I forgot about my parents, the girls, life, death, and my everlasting string of self-conscious fueled anxiety. I accepted the loving treatment I was coursed into, a content smile finding its way to my face as I fell into a peaceful slumber in the hands of my loved ones.

LUKE’S POV

We watched as his eyes fluttered shut and sleep overtook him. He looked so relaxed for this first time in ages, I had almost forgotten what such a thing looked like on him. If this was all it took, we should have done this years ago. He was beautiful, always had been. But this, this was something new. I took some time to sit and look him over, a frown appearing on my face. I had never done this before, staring at someone who wouldn’t suddenly stare back. His appearance had certainly changed over the years. His eyes had large, purple bags beneath them. He was pale, looking almost as white as the sheet he laid on. His face was sunken in, having no fullness, just sharpened edges of his bones. Glancing down at his body, I noticed how thin he had truly gotten. Tears welled up in my eyes. Every bone and ligament was outlined and visible in a way they shouldn’t be.  
Subconsciously, I think we all knew something was wrong with him for a while but nobody was ready to accept that there was. He had always been such a private person that it felt hard to bring up in fear of angering him or making him uncomfortable with us. It stung a bit that whatever it was, he wasn’t talking to us about it. He had always been there for us and it felt wrong that we couldn’t fully be there for him. Reggie had his suspicions much longer than Alex and I on just exactly what the issue would be, the two of us in too great of denial that he could be hurting that bad in secret. Once he said those words out loud the day we returned to the studio from the void, it became oh too real. It was no longer a sad theory that could be ignored. He had brought up extremely good points with valid explanations. I felt myself go through something that resembled the five stages of grief quickly within my core. I had yet to fully accept the situation, but I had to. We needed to fix this as soon as possible. Bobby was sick and there was no more pretending he wasn’t.

**Author's Note:**

> This one was written about 7 pages shorter than the first one on docs, so if it felt shorter, that’s why! Thank you for returning for part two, I’m sorry it took an entire week to update. That was definitely not the original plan, but I got very busy. It’s coming up at the end of my quarter for school and I want to keep my GPA at the 3.9 point if possible. I don’t feel as confident with this piece as I did my first one, so if you have any ideas or suggestions that you’d like to drop in the comments, feel free! I plan on continuing this story line but it may take some time, depending on the creative flow I have and what is happening IRL. I hope you have a great day/evening/night and I will try to update soon!


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